For a Given Weight of Crazy
by Meatball42
Summary: Hardison learns something about Parker that changes the way he sees her.


Title: For a Given Weight of Crazy

Rating: PG

Summary: Hardison learns something about Parker that changes the way he sees her. Written for the prompt 'Her lover tries to forget that she is a killer but ultimately can't' on comment-fic on LiveJournal.

[*]

Hardison knew Parker was crazy going into it. It was difficult to miss. Even if Eliot hadn't stated it rather succinctly on their first job, anyone who jumps off buildings- sometimes without her harness- or literally rolls around in money is clearly at least a few degrees off average. But she was accidentally sweet and had a beautiful smile and was honestly interested when he talked about things most other people ignored. And she needed him, if only for explaining pop-culture references and 'normal people things.'

It took a while for her to get used to the idea of them. Even when they'd been 'dating' for months, her got the feeling she was holding back, hiding herself, somehow still tentative. She was getting better about it (and after a talking-to from Sophie he backed off on the monster-truck rallies) and he had high hopes until he found the report.

A museum guard in St. Petersburg had been killed five years ago when an Impressionist painting was stolen. Hardison could remember Parker bragging about the security in that museum, how easy it had been to get in and out.

When he asked, she nodded and looked at the ceiling, remembering. "He went on his rounds early. I always keep a knife or two on me, just in case."

Hardison's brow furrowed as he watched her face. She was still thinking about the cartoon he'd paused for this conversation, barely giving the matter any thought. "Did you have to? Did he have a gun or anything?"

"No," she said simply. "He was about to raise the alarm, it would have ruined my exit. It was a quick slice though, no mess." She gracefully stood from the couch and went to the kitchen while Hardison tried not to throw up.

He knew she was crazy, going in. He didn't know she could be psychopathic.

Hardison drove himself crazy looking up info on that security guard. He was single, late forties, an ex-wife who hated him. No kids, a bad disposition according to his neighbors. Not exactly the best humanity had to offer. But he didn't need to die.

He couldn't see her the same anymore. Her crazy smiles, they weren't endearing, they were barely-concealed impulses toward who knew what. Jumping off the roof with a scream wasn't insane and beautiful, it was the act of an adrenaline junkie who didn't care about anyone's well-being, including her own. The way she was watching him, all the time, it didn't pad his ego, it scared him.

Sophie noticed and tried to give him relationship counseling. Nate noticed and said he'd told them not to let it interfere with jobs. Eliot noticed and let him talk.

"I mean, you, you-" he made a flailing gesture with his arms and Eliot nodded with his beer. "But you'd never hurt anyone more than you had to. Right?"

Eliot nodded, slowly enough that it wasn't entirely true.

"Great. I'm on a team with a psycho, an assassin, a drunk and- I bet Sophie's poisoned someone, no- she's probably a black widow-"

"Like you're so righteous," Eliot retorted, face screwed up like when things really got to him. "You never stole from somebody's granny, from a single mother? You never stole enough that a company had to hand out pink slips?"

"No, actually, I didn't!" Hardison said loudly. "I made sure I only took what people could spare."

"Like you can be sure."

"I never slit someone's throat because they got in my way!"

Eliot stared at him, face blank, eyes dark. "If you can't handle it, stop stringing her along."

"I'm not-" Hardison said, shocked. "You _know _how I feel about her, there's no way I…" he couldn't finish.

"She's never done this before. If you can't deal, tell her, and don't let her keep thinkin' it's gonna work out."

He didn't tell her. He tried to ignore it, thought it could work anyway. Sophie gave him concerned looks, Eliot glared. Parker noticed.

He stopped asking her to places, she stopped watching him. They stopped laughing together.

Parker took Sophie's advice and found a new boyfriend who thought she had a garden and liked beaches and shoes. Hardison got a cyber-girlfriend. They tried not to let it get in the way of jobs.

After a few uncomfortable months, they became friends again. Hardison talked about Doctor Who and Parker talked about money, and that was just that.


End file.
